


Basic Coding

by birdie7272



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Arthur is a little shit, Banter, Fandom, Humour, hahaha, really just a way to teach people how to use html coding on ao3, see the very bottom for notes but not all in the notes section, sorry for the clickbait summary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:09:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28722639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/birdie7272/pseuds/birdie7272
Summary: Arthur groaned.  He sounded muted, as if he pulled the phone away from his head but forgot to press speaker.  “You always say that when you’re looking at those sites.”Merlin gaped and scrolled past the small vibrators and into the XXL.  “I am not a sex addict always looking at porn.”
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 27





	Basic Coding

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ibumblebee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ibumblebee/gifts).



“Merlin,” Arthur answered the phone. Already a grump. It wasn’t even Monday. 

“Hello, my favorite tech genius,” Merlin happily chimed back. He made sure to pack in an extra punch of smiles for Arthur to hear. What kind of friend would he be if he did not annoy? 

“I swear to God, Merlin, just plug the toaster into the wall and-” 

“No toaster should be that complicated!” Merlin argued before Arthur could start. “And it’s not about your horrible robot contraption.” 

Arthur’s hot breath of a laugh hissed through the phone. “What is it then? The microwave?”

Merlin closed his eyes, and sighed directly into the speaker. He hoped the sound waves punched Arthur directly in his stupid eardrum. “No. It’s online.” 

Arthur groaned. A chair creaked. He was probably in his office at this hour. The distinct crack of knuckles echoed. He always made a show of preparing himself when going to fix Merlin's tech issues. 

“What have we said about you going online when I'm not there?” Arthur’s sarcasm was nowhere near as cute as he thought. "Or was the last virus not good enough a warning?"

Merlin poked his computer and completely ignored the prodding. “I am looking at a box on a website. I want to link something in there but there’s no chain thing for the link. Thing.” 

Arthur took a long moment to respond. “A box?” 

Merlin huffed. “You know! Where you can write stuff.”

“Are you telling me you’re trying to write an email?” Arthur asked incredulously. 

“No!” Merlin yelled. “I’m trying to leave a…” He trailed off and snapped his tongue against the room of his mouth. “Review.”

Arthur hummed. “A review?” He snorted. “What for? Did you like the way those puffy pink slippers made your pretty toes feel?” 

Merlin very purposefully bit his lip and refused to look down at the slippers on his feet. Yes they were pink. Yes it was a mistake in the order. But they were fluffy! And they were soft! 

“Oh my god,” Arthur laughed. “You’re wearing them right now.”

“No!” Merlin argued, a bit too fast and a bit too squeaky. 

“Zoom me,” Arthur demanded. 

“What?” Merlin squeaked. “I thought we agreed no more of that! I only have Skype anyway! I don’t understand these kids and their new apps. The old one was perfectly good.”

Arthur sucked in a pained lungful of air. “You’re twenty seven.” 

“Anyway,” Merlin sang, perfectly smoothly, “I’m trying to leave a review but I want to link them something and there's no linky thing. Other people left a link so I know it’s possible. How do I do it?” 

“I’d ask you to screenshare but I know how that went last time.”

Pizza stuck in the Xbox. Chargers in the freezer. Blue fire. 

Merlin cringed. “Can you just tell me?”

“Explaining this to you over the phone is like explaining string theory to a monkey. Only the monkey might understand it better.”

“You don’t even understand string theory,” Merlin challenged. 

“Please-” Arthur scoffed. 

“Alright, what is it? Explain string theory to me like I'm a monkey.” 

Arthur paused long enough for Merlin to smile. "You have the ears of a monkey."

“Mhm,” Merlin hummed victoriously. 

“Text me what you want your review to say and the link and I’ll email it back and you can copy and paste, alright?” Arthur snapped. “I have work to do.” 

Merlin’s eyes flicked over the image of his favorite characters from his favorite show digitally painted in a beautiful work of art that depicted them both reaching what appeared to be a very intense and pleasing mutual orgasm. Then, down to the link that lead to a very lengthy smutshot that this work reminded him of. ‘Fuck Me Forever by dik5uk’ was hardly subtle. 

Merlin cleared his throat. “Can’t you just tell me? Or email me how to?” 

Arthur must have heard the uncomfortable lilt to his voice because he immediately latched on like a puppy with a slab of steak. “Why not, _Mer_ lin? What are you reviewing? Get yourself a vibrator?” 

Merlin glared unhappily at the closest wall. Arthur was truly a repressed creature thinking vibrators were only for girls and that they were a good way to mock his flatmate. Idiot. He just signed himself up for a great birthday gift. Merlin opened a new tab on the computer and immediately started browsing for something hot pink. Maybe it would shake loose the stick up his arse. 

“I’ll have you know,” Merlin said, “I’m reviewing an independent artist.” 

There was a heavy beat of silence. 

“Are you seriously looking at porn while talking to me on the phone?” Arthur deadpanned. 

“What?!” Merlin yelled. He looked around the flat to make sure there was not a camera anywhere in the corner. “What the hell made you say that?”

Arthur groaned. He sounded muted, as if he pulled the phone away from his head but forgot to press speaker. “You always say that when you’re looking at those sites.”

Merlin gaped and scrolled past the small vibrators and into the XXL. “I am not a sex addict always looking at porn.” 

“Fanfiction!” Arthur shouted from afar. The phone scraped and his voice was suddenly louder. “Fanfiction, Merlin.” 

“It’s not porn!” Merlin argued. 

“It is whenever I catch you at it!” 

It was Merlin’s turn to groan. “You don’t _catch_ me! It’s not porn!”

“Right,” Arthur snorted. “Romance erotica.” 

“It’s not all porn.” 

Arthur laughed happily. “All. Not all. Fine.” He chuckled as if he had won some sort of argument they were not having. “I don’t get it.” 

“Good,” Merlin snapped. “We don’t want you to get it and we don’t want you to read it either.”

There was a _tap-tap-tap_ in the silence that followed. 

Merlin clicked on a vibrator egg with a remote control. Maybe he could trick Arthur with it somehow. Hold the remote in his pocket and put the egg on Arthur so he could vibrate it every time he was being a royal dick. 

“Are you going to help me or not?” Merlin asked when the silence was too much. 

“I just sent you an email,” Arthur said. He chuckled. “Don’t get cum on the keyboard!” 

Then, Arthur hung up. 

Merlin growled at no one but opened his email. 

\-------------------------

TO: merlinemrys@gmail.com

FROM: apendragon@avalon.co.uk

Subject: Porn

I’ve made it so easy not even you can mess it up. 

<a href=””>Type What You Want the Link to Read</a>

Put the https:// website link **with the https:// included** in between the quotation marks where it says href=””. Copy and paste the url link from the browser bar. (The top box. We talked about this. Honestly.)

Example:

> Oh that made me so hot! This porn is so good! I love it when these men go at each other like lovesick girls when they’re not even dating on the show. Reading about these fit men with their fit bods and their fit penises rubbing up on each other until they cum gets me so hot that I have to bother my bestest and greatest hardworking flatmate to explain basic code so I can leave you a review with a link to the image of my cock because it's so hard at how turned on I am by these fictional characters. <a href=”https://www.smalldickpics.co.uk/”> My Cock </a>
> 
> Signed, 
> 
> Merlin69Needs69More69Cock69

There. I tried to make it sound like you. 

Do us a favour and pick up a pizza for your tech genius, alright?

\-------------------------

Merlin stared at the screen for a moment and then nodded. Yup. He was already calling Morgana to make sure every one of their friends was on board with the theme of Arthur’s birthday. Hot pink lingerie would be a great gift for Leon to give Arthur as long as Lance made sure to give him the handcuffs to match! 

* * *

(because html is finicky)

* * *

This was just a way to teach how to use html on this website in the comments/summary/notes section hahaha. 

I learned basic coding on a few websites but here's what's handy here! I literally copied and pasted this exactly into the notes section to show you what it looks like.

  * Link: <a href="https://www.website.com/">Words to Rep Link</a>
  * Bold: <strong>BOLD WORDS</strong>
  * Italics: <em>ITALICS WORDS</em>
  * Indent with Line: <blockquote>Words that indent with line</blockquote>
  * Horizontal line: <hr>
  * New Paragraph: <br>
  * Heading (larger text): <h1> (this goes all the way to h6. the bigger you go, the smaller the text)



If I wanted to make this part bold. I would type: If I wanted to make <strong>this part bold</strong>. And it would appear as this: If I wanted to make **this part bold.**

So say I wanted to leave a comment on a fic with a link, I could do this: That was <em>amazing</em>! I <strong>love</strong> it when Merlin and Arthur have so much <em>sass</em>. It reminded me of this other fic, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28722639/">Other Fic</a>. You should check it out! Here's a quote: <blockquote>"Did you seriously gift me a vibrating egg for my birthday?!"</blockquote>

That would look like this: That was _amazing_! I **love** it when Merlin and Arthur have so much _sass_. It reminded me of this other fic, [Other Fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28722639/). You should check it out! Here's a quote:

> "Did you seriously gift me a vibrating egg for my birthday?!"

**Author's Note:**

> Examples of the above here in the notes to show you how they show up after they are rendered (how they appear after you leave your review/comment/summary/note/etc). 
> 
> Link: [Words to Rep Link](https://www.website.com/)
> 
> Bold: **BOLD WORDS**
> 
> Italics: _ITALICS WORDS_
> 
> Indent with Line:
>
>> Words that indent with line
> 
>   
> Horizontal line:
> 
> * * *
> 
> New Paragraph:  
> Headings:  
> 
> 
> ###### small heading
> 
>   
> 
> 
> ### Medium Heading
> 
>   
> 
> 
> # Big heading
> 
>   
> fin.


End file.
